simbang gabi at tsokolate... Meri Krismas!

it's the 25th of December.

so I should therefore, greet everyone who is probably reading this a Merry Christmas!

*insert smiley face here*

thing is, what is this greeting for?

when you greet others, what do you have in mind?

are you expecting a gift or greeting also in return? or a long sweet message from someone you love?

what is Christmas for you?

it has tons and millions of definition from different minds, i know, but since i am the blogger here, let me tell you what it is for a certain, me :) so shall we?

i came up with the title for the reason that, that is Christmas for me.

why 'Simbang Gabi'? 

aside from the fact that I am a Filipino who yes, very much treasure this Christmas tradition, 

i also happen to find an explicit meaning and explanation for it.

Christmas, for me is like a key, and opening, an opportunity for me to begin, AGAIN.

it's this time of the year that I actually find time for me to get back up on my feet, and play the game of life, AGAIN.

it's this time of the year when i can gather all that positive vibes, and let it flow within thy vein of mine, AGAIN.

it's this time of the year when i have that thinking that I can do things, all over AGAIN, that it excites me.

leave the past, play the present, and dream wide awake of the future.

thing is or should I say, the fact is, I can start all of these in the right way with 'simbang gabi', with HIM.

thinking that I found the time for me to finally open myself to God, which is this time of the year is a good way to start another year, back to the game with much strength and a lot more wise from all the mistakes, experiences, from before.

so to conclude it, Christmas is all about Him, all about Jesus and how HE will be the way, the only way of life as I start it again, this coming year.

why tsokolate?

hello there Filipinos! now this is a very delicious drink to define Christmas in our country :)

but how did I came up with this on my title and how did I find an explanation to Christmas from it?

because it is 'BITTERSWEET'.

my previous year is all about being "bittersweet"

i have my bitter moments, downs, and fall back.

but i also happen to have my sweet moments, time when I look and find reasons to be happy and keep playing.

and that is Christmas for me, a time to look back on the previous happening and pictures in your life..

reflect on it..

cry about it..

laugh about it..

but the most important thing is when you learn from it..

and you will apply it to the things that will happen in the future.

crap, i am so mushy about this.

but this is me.

i finally found the time for me to write, again.

and damn, it feels so good (with ir without a reader.. but it's better if I can share these inspiring thought to others, though)

i guess, what i am just trying to say is Christmas isn't just about the food, the gifts, and stuff.

it's about something else more deeper and significant.

it's about praying for the needs of others, who need it more than we do.

remembering what it really was about, and that is about HIM.

forgiveness and love. (which really applies to my family, right now. just sharing, though, might blog about it sometime in the future)

and yes, as my title goes.. "simbang gabi at tsokolate" :)

a blesses Christmas, everyone!

may we all be able to start something new and good in our lives!

God bless.

oh.. Happy Happy Birthday, Jesus! I love you, really.

(c) photo from tumblr

when i forgot to drink my doze of reality.

when i should be studying..

     so i had some alone time and it seems i am in a semi-happy state I've always wanted to be. yes, i am inside an over rated coffee shop ( if you're a coffee lover, i think you'd know what it is) and i am being microchip small kind of pissed with the very noisy people but i don't have the right to be, right? it's a coffee shop and they're not studying accounting and being melodramatic like a certain me, they are either talking in a Korean dialect or being all cuddly together. how sweeeeeeet, it affects my spinal chord already. well, it's whatever.

       as the title said so, i wasn't able to drink my pill of reality that's why i was able to come up with this, but really, what i really want to write here is nothing in particular. i guess, i just want to write, plus, i have this question in mind I want to share with others who might be actually reading my blog. do you ever wonder, like me, how many random people are in this world, again, like me? i mean, i feel alone, thinking that everyone is busy living their world, literally (hope someone get me here) and i'm not. i mean, for me, this is my way of living:

1. thinking

2. coming up with something to write

3. actions

4. experience

5. learning

6. Getting back up on my feet

        though I admit that, yes, i need a bit more doze of reality.

like right now.. something came up while i'm currently writing this..

if i indeed, have readers, then you must be mad or pissed thinking that I, indeed need more reality and instead of writing about stuff like this, i should be writing about something in particular like how to help those affected by the "Hanging Habagat" incident, donation and relief good stuff and all that but before anythiing else, or any judgements, just so everyone knows, my family are also one of those who were affected, we're just thankful to God that we're not like those who's really affected until now and also, until now, we are using the best weapon there is which are prayers, yes we are praying for them so yeah., shall we continue to pray? :)

i guess, i should go back on studying,

this is what I call my private, happy time.

academics.notes.coffee.wind.

hi, im living a neutral life and im currently down.

WARNING: very, extremely random. sorry!

(c) tumblr - the picture is as random as me.

literally "hooray for today!"

(c) picture from TUMBLR

parang mcdonalds lang? lol

hi, you guys! it's been a while since i blogged again and here i am once again trying to share something in some readers, if there are, out there or something like that but anyway.. here we go! yes, i am excited to write again:)

"hooray for today!" yes, obviously, i did have a good day. so, what's with today? we all love our school, whether it's a big university or a small community of college. well, as for me, i am currently a resident of a good college, to say so (which, honestly, i just realized today for some reasons) any, today we had an event, something to welcome the freshmen people who will be part of our "college" family soon and we had this 'tradition thing' in our school wherein we volunteer for that day to be an 'ate' and guide them like with explaining how it works in our college, campus tour and all that. and yes, we did all of that today.

you must be probably wondering what is inspiring with a campus tour and being an ate the whole day? it would only be something tiring to do and i admit, yes it is but to tell what this blog is about, let me just tell you that today i realized a lot of things by doing and experiencing this tiring day and end it up way inspired.

everything about it is just inspiring. the people around me, the simple success and proud feeling they get for themselves, their speeches (i know speeches from old people are usually boring, but c'mon it won't harm you to listen sometime. hehe), how they treat life, how they see it, and how they cope with it. all of it, it just hits me and i came to wonder that this coming school year, i am already on the junior level and perhaps, probably, it is already the time for me to actually start doing something.. i dunno, just something. something that will put a smile on my face at the end of every day and by giving out a sigh and saying 'tough day, but i actually did something productive out there' and with that simple thought, you are actually overwhelmed and for me feeling overwhelmed at times serves as a motivation for one to keep up and go on with whatever life can actually fucking bring. excitiiiing. hehe

"hello freshies! tracy nga pala, and yes, i know, mukha akong 1st year hs dahil sa height ko pero maniwala ho kayo, 3rd year na ako sa pasukan. hahaha" -me "hahahaha, hi ate!" -them. i know, ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko but i believe being 'mababaw' sometimes serves as the simple yet best happiness there is, after all, the small stuff matters right? so yes, we went on to a campus tour, met people, mingle with people and it's a thing that i like most, it simpy lighten me up. i make them laugh, i put comfort with them and we avoided that awkward feeling of the 'just met' part and trust me, when you see that 'easy feeling' on them? hay, it's worth it. medyo nakakapagod kasi talaga kanina, i was on campus tour with the whole 'education' students/freshmen but it was hell fun. before we say goodbye to each other, i assure them that it'll really be a 'welcome, girls!' by ending it up with something that goes like this, 'sa pasukan, kapag nagkita tayo dapat pansinan ah! as in parang barkada lang' and they are like, 'ano nga po ulit name niyo?' and i said, 'tracy' and then it's their answer that makes it more fun, 'sige po! thank you po!' and perhaps, i hope i made them feel really welcome in their new home.

it's the simple things to matter. you can appreciate things if you choose to appreciate them. you can make something productive, if you are active and true to the things you want to do. you can always try out new things, accept possibilities, go with the opportunities and live it up, ALWAYS to the fullest, all if YOU WANT TO. i wish this feeling that i had today is always with me, but one thing is certain, i am excited to the things ahead of me, and i will always try to feel this happiness again. no harm in trying, right? go lang ng go ;)

so there, one ASSUMPTIONISTA signing off ;)

hi, i'm livin' a neutral life!

(c) TUMBLR picture

-tracy

Kabataan 101: Pinagsamahan.

  Medyo madrama or malalim yata yung title, pero believe me, I really made a sense out of it.

  We all have that 'someone' we define as our 'companion'. yung tipong magkasama kayo, either sa paggawa ng kalokohan, kasama sa malupit na tawanan or kasama sa matinding dramahan. oo nga pala, pinsan ko siya. ever since, my dad keeped her as a part of our family already, siya na yung naging pangalawang ate ko, magkasama na yata kami sa lahat ng bagay. 'Partner in crime'? siya yun, siya talaga yung perfect definition ng term na yun.

   Paano kapag nag away kami? Sandali lang sa amin yun, di siya uso sa vocabulary namin kaya magkaaway kami for a very short period of time lang, sa sobrang transparent namin sa isa't isa, di na kami sanay ng magkaaway.

    Pero, this time was different, way too different from what I am used to. so, yes, magkaaway kami right now and it's been days na hindi kami nagpapansinan. sobrang awkward na, sobrang hindi na siya okay sa pakiramdam, literally, nakakasama ng pakiramdam. Kaya siguro I came up with this.. and the title.. and the whole idea, itself.

    "Kabataan 101" means, me. Mas matanda kasi siya sa akin, kaya at the end of the day, ako pa din ang kailangan magpakumbaba, that's how it is talaga eh. "Pinagsamahan" is the thought na kahit magkaaway kami, hindi ko magawang ilabas yung galit ko sa kanya or iparamdam man lang na galit ako (kaya siguro, naisipan kong i-blog) kasi behind these anger or "inis" na i am feeling for her, there is still the thought na sobrag lalim na ng pinagsamahan namin and i just don't want na masira yun just because of that small reason or misunderstaning kaya kami nag away. nakakapanhinayang, eh. if you know me and my cousin or see how close we really are, you would feel the same way I am actually feeling right now. 

     I still pray, at the end of every day na we would soon be okay, again, and when that happens we would be able to do the same shit of happiness and experience extreme laughter. 

     * Lunch and dinner ng sabay.

     * Foodtrip to the max sa tindahan.

     * Iced tea and movie break.

     * Takutan with horror movies and stories.

     * Mga laughtrip na trip at kulitan

     For me, no one does these things the same way me and my cousin does them. nakakalungkot isipin na we aren't doin it now, kas nga magkaaway kami pero I'll continuosly pray that everythin will be okay, really soon. 

      This is how much I cherish my cousin, danna. wala na siyang parents and ever since, more than cousin na ang trato ko sa kaniya, she was my second sister. I cry sometimes, thinking na we came up with this argument na senseless naman for me, I hope she'll have the heart to forgive me. I miss a sister, I miss a best friend, I miss you, danna.

       hi, i'm having some problems with my neutral life, but i'm still livin'

       -tracy

   

it's nowhere near new year.

  during new year's eve a super friend greeted me quite different than the usual "Happy New Year" greeting which includes a lot of exclamation point on it, obviously because yes, there is something to celebrate about. her greeting goes like, "hey, we don't need new years to change the things we need or want to change, any day can be treated as new year which gives another chance :)" so, there. quite unusual, you think? some kind of a greeting or message which can be identified or classified as dramatic or whatever by some people who don't actually "appreciate" the idea. but yeah, i can and i do 'cause this person is actually the one who can easily relate to me the same way i can relate to her. yes, in short, she is, indeed my best friend.

   so how will this blog actually go? i've been looking for the time to actually start doing this, but believe me,i really can't, i'm starting to think that i can't really blog, you know, that moment when i feel like "i am a trying hard blogger". does anyone feel the same? please, share the idea on how you can get over it. thanks :) but anyway, i came to realize that it takes time for you to actually come up with something.

   what is that 'something' i came up? the title might not make sense to some who will read this but let me try to picture it out how it happens to have sense. it's nowhere near new year. have you accomplished all the new year resolution on the list? any changes happening, whether good or bad? I am a fan of new year resolutions but i never accomplished them on the supposed to be time, you know as soon as you woke up from new year's eve and you are supposed to follow it, never did make it, honestly. hahaha. 

   gosh, what is this blogger trying to say? (hope, you ain't thinking like this right now) i guess, this blog says the message of or pertains to the question, "when will you start?" it's nowhere near new year to make another list of new year resolutions and make them happen but you know you can actually make "every normal day resolutions", and as you go on living your perfect little life, you can do it, slowly but accurately and surely. now, how will you know that you are actually achieving them, it is by then that you are actually having fun. living the most, from the smallest to the biggest detail in your so called life. 

   i guess, what i am JUST trying to say is that you don't need to wait every new year to give yourself a chance to change some things and embrace new possibilities. Every day can be a new year, as my bestfriend said, means that every day can be a chance for you to either try something new, to come up with something which can bring that smile on the dull face caused by always being afraid to try, though you never really tried, just yet. i guess, i learned to just go, mess up, learn, change, and finally be someone, simply happy. after all, it's nowhere near new year, what could actually happen will all that time? i hope you ended up thinkin' :)

   hi, i'm livin' a neutral life :)

   -tracy

yes, i just started.

 It's pretty much a perfect time to write or popularly known as blog.if you're a reader, you must be probably wondering how i determine the perfect time to blog. for me, it's when i got my earphones on of course with music playin' and yes, i prepared myself a tumbler of coffee and yay, im inspired to write. pretty simple? that's how it goes for me :) how do you determine yours?

 I blog even before, got my tumblr (definemerandom.tumblr.com) and yes, lads, you are free to follow it and share the same imagination and dreamy days with me while inhaling a lil bit of reality, if you know what i mean. and yes! it comes with photos and writings, pretty much random, like me. i'm pretty excited to have a new spot (is that why they call it blogspot?) to write and blog, i mean, i always believed that someday i can be able to share the same fun and smile blogging bring to others, interact and be friends and all that, and yes, can you believe it? i actually came up with the idea to create this :) i hope this'll work out with me the same way it worked out with all the other bloggers out there.

 This is the first for now, i'm excited to rest these eyes of mine and wake them up tomorrow and write again. just sayin' :)

  let us live with a smile, always! 

  hi, i'm livin' neutral life :)

  -tracy