Kabataan 101: Pinagsamahan.

  Medyo madrama or malalim yata yung title, pero believe me, I really made a sense out of it.

  We all have that 'someone' we define as our 'companion'. yung tipong magkasama kayo, either sa paggawa ng kalokohan, kasama sa malupit na tawanan or kasama sa matinding dramahan. oo nga pala, pinsan ko siya. ever since, my dad keeped her as a part of our family already, siya na yung naging pangalawang ate ko, magkasama na yata kami sa lahat ng bagay. 'Partner in crime'? siya yun, siya talaga yung perfect definition ng term na yun.

   Paano kapag nag away kami? Sandali lang sa amin yun, di siya uso sa vocabulary namin kaya magkaaway kami for a very short period of time lang, sa sobrang transparent namin sa isa't isa, di na kami sanay ng magkaaway.

    Pero, this time was different, way too different from what I am used to. so, yes, magkaaway kami right now and it's been days na hindi kami nagpapansinan. sobrang awkward na, sobrang hindi na siya okay sa pakiramdam, literally, nakakasama ng pakiramdam. Kaya siguro I came up with this.. and the title.. and the whole idea, itself.

    "Kabataan 101" means, me. Mas matanda kasi siya sa akin, kaya at the end of the day, ako pa din ang kailangan magpakumbaba, that's how it is talaga eh. "Pinagsamahan" is the thought na kahit magkaaway kami, hindi ko magawang ilabas yung galit ko sa kanya or iparamdam man lang na galit ako (kaya siguro, naisipan kong i-blog) kasi behind these anger or "inis" na i am feeling for her, there is still the thought na sobrag lalim na ng pinagsamahan namin and i just don't want na masira yun just because of that small reason or misunderstaning kaya kami nag away. nakakapanhinayang, eh. if you know me and my cousin or see how close we really are, you would feel the same way I am actually feeling right now. 

     I still pray, at the end of every day na we would soon be okay, again, and when that happens we would be able to do the same shit of happiness and experience extreme laughter. 

     * Lunch and dinner ng sabay.

     * Foodtrip to the max sa tindahan.

     * Iced tea and movie break.

     * Takutan with horror movies and stories.

     * Mga laughtrip na trip at kulitan

     For me, no one does these things the same way me and my cousin does them. nakakalungkot isipin na we aren't doin it now, kas nga magkaaway kami pero I'll continuosly pray that everythin will be okay, really soon. 

      This is how much I cherish my cousin, danna. wala na siyang parents and ever since, more than cousin na ang trato ko sa kaniya, she was my second sister. I cry sometimes, thinking na we came up with this argument na senseless naman for me, I hope she'll have the heart to forgive me. I miss a sister, I miss a best friend, I miss you, danna.

       hi, i'm having some problems with my neutral life, but i'm still livin'

       -tracy

   

it's nowhere near new year.

  during new year's eve a super friend greeted me quite different than the usual "Happy New Year" greeting which includes a lot of exclamation point on it, obviously because yes, there is something to celebrate about. her greeting goes like, "hey, we don't need new years to change the things we need or want to change, any day can be treated as new year which gives another chance :)" so, there. quite unusual, you think? some kind of a greeting or message which can be identified or classified as dramatic or whatever by some people who don't actually "appreciate" the idea. but yeah, i can and i do 'cause this person is actually the one who can easily relate to me the same way i can relate to her. yes, in short, she is, indeed my best friend.

   so how will this blog actually go? i've been looking for the time to actually start doing this, but believe me,i really can't, i'm starting to think that i can't really blog, you know, that moment when i feel like "i am a trying hard blogger". does anyone feel the same? please, share the idea on how you can get over it. thanks :) but anyway, i came to realize that it takes time for you to actually come up with something.

   what is that 'something' i came up? the title might not make sense to some who will read this but let me try to picture it out how it happens to have sense. it's nowhere near new year. have you accomplished all the new year resolution on the list? any changes happening, whether good or bad? I am a fan of new year resolutions but i never accomplished them on the supposed to be time, you know as soon as you woke up from new year's eve and you are supposed to follow it, never did make it, honestly. hahaha. 

   gosh, what is this blogger trying to say? (hope, you ain't thinking like this right now) i guess, this blog says the message of or pertains to the question, "when will you start?" it's nowhere near new year to make another list of new year resolutions and make them happen but you know you can actually make "every normal day resolutions", and as you go on living your perfect little life, you can do it, slowly but accurately and surely. now, how will you know that you are actually achieving them, it is by then that you are actually having fun. living the most, from the smallest to the biggest detail in your so called life. 

   i guess, what i am JUST trying to say is that you don't need to wait every new year to give yourself a chance to change some things and embrace new possibilities. Every day can be a new year, as my bestfriend said, means that every day can be a chance for you to either try something new, to come up with something which can bring that smile on the dull face caused by always being afraid to try, though you never really tried, just yet. i guess, i learned to just go, mess up, learn, change, and finally be someone, simply happy. after all, it's nowhere near new year, what could actually happen will all that time? i hope you ended up thinkin' :)

   hi, i'm livin' a neutral life :)

   -tracy

yes, i just started.

 It's pretty much a perfect time to write or popularly known as blog.if you're a reader, you must be probably wondering how i determine the perfect time to blog. for me, it's when i got my earphones on of course with music playin' and yes, i prepared myself a tumbler of coffee and yay, im inspired to write. pretty simple? that's how it goes for me :) how do you determine yours?

 I blog even before, got my tumblr (definemerandom.tumblr.com) and yes, lads, you are free to follow it and share the same imagination and dreamy days with me while inhaling a lil bit of reality, if you know what i mean. and yes! it comes with photos and writings, pretty much random, like me. i'm pretty excited to have a new spot (is that why they call it blogspot?) to write and blog, i mean, i always believed that someday i can be able to share the same fun and smile blogging bring to others, interact and be friends and all that, and yes, can you believe it? i actually came up with the idea to create this :) i hope this'll work out with me the same way it worked out with all the other bloggers out there.

 This is the first for now, i'm excited to rest these eyes of mine and wake them up tomorrow and write again. just sayin' :)

  let us live with a smile, always! 

  hi, i'm livin' neutral life :)

  -tracy